[Writingworkshop] Muse with a hangover

[Neale Morison]

What are you doing?

Standing on one leg.

Come over here.

I can't.

Why not?

Because I'm standing on one leg.

She goes over and pushes the raised foot to the floor.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

This is so much better.

I'm glad.

Hey!

What?

If two legs are so much better, think what it would be like if you had 
three!

She thinks

Okay.

Yeah?

Not really.

Why not?

There's such a thing as overdoing it.

Or underdoing it. How about four.

Do you get to keep your hands?

Yes, of course.

Not of course.

You get to keep your hands.

Then maybe.

It would be easier to put on your shoes.

But you would have twice as many.

You could put on your pants one, two, three or four legs at a time.

What if you had five?

Too hard.

To think about it?

To walk.

There'd be all these new gaits.

Running, walking, hopping, skipping.

That's with only two. With five there'd be new ones and you'd lose some 
of the old ones.

Trotting, cantering, galloping.

That's with only four.

Pentapedal perambulation particularly problematic.

One step forward four steps back.

What do you call a chair with no legs?

A swing.


-- 
Neale Morison
neale at nealemorison.com
http://www.nealemorison.com
31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139
+1 617 460 9969