[Writingworkshop] Raphael was so straight

[Neale Morison]

After extensive and detailed research (wikipedia article) I have 
concluded that Raphael should not be included in the gay list, despite 
the fact that this would complete the roll call of ninja turtles. It is 
rumored that Raphael died at the early age of thirty seven because of a 
night of excessive sex with the favorite of his many mistresses.
Of course, it could have been the mercury and lead in the paint, and it 
could have been his insistence on living in 1520 Rome, notoriously 
hazardous, particularly if you went to a doctor.
Why she was the favorite:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4c/Fornarina.jpg
If further proof were needed, you can tell he's straight by the way he 
draws breasts.
You can also tell by the self-portrait he did in his teens:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Sanzio_00.jpg
A more compelling study of a boy attempting to look intriguingly 
artistic to women I have yet to see.


-- 
Neale Morison
neale at nealemorison.com
http://www.nealemorison.com
31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139
+1 617 460 9969
nmorison at mit.edu